introvert

14 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

14. You screen all your calls — even from friends.

The phone rings.  The first wave of feeling comes over you – anxiety.  Then quickly to the second wave – annoyance.

Every phone call, I go through that.

Why do I hate the phone so much?  I don’t get many calls, which is a relief, but when I do I just hate it.

We got rid of our landline phone years ago, which was a blessing, because landline phones seem to bring in mostly junk calls – telemarketers, politicians, etc.  I do not envy those who are complaining about the amount of annoyance calls they get during the day (and now, well into the evening!).  That doesn’t fly with this girl.

So, I have my cell.  I think the greatest feature of a cell phone is being able to pick and choose ringtones for each and every contact on your list.  And do I ever take advantage of it!

The upside to that is the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when that certain ringtone is heard when those you want to call actually do.  If those calls ever go to voicemail, it’s because I wasn’t around to get the call.

Then there are those other ringtones that you know, but don’t necessarily want to talk right away.  Those calls usually get a good eye roll.  Sometimes I answer, sometimes I let it go.

Then, there’s my default ringtone.  Anxiety and annoyance.  Every time!  Those don’t even get to ring the whole time – DECLINE!  LOL!

Do any of my fellow introverts out there use the crap out of their blocked number features or apps that make it easy to keep calls from coming through?  My favorite is Mr. Number.  This cute little app is so great – it’s has a running database that can help determine if a number is legit or if it’s a scam.  You wouldn’t believe how many scam numbers get through to people.  With one little click, I can have my phone go to voicemail or simply disconnect the call each time that number calls me.  It’s a dream come true!

I get a lot of phone calls where I know the person, but I don’t like to be caught off-guard with the topic, so I hope and pray they give me some insight as to why they are calling in their voice message.  Voicemails I hate the most?  “Give me a call back, I have some questions for you.”  Aaaaaaaah!!

In the meantime, don’t be offended if your call to me goes straight to voicemail.  It’s just who I am. 😉  If you’re someone I know, I will call you back…just as soon as my arrhythmia settles a bit. 😀

Image Credit:  The Cornish Life

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12 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

12. You’d rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

“Jack of all trades, master of none.”  That would be me.  So, I can’t say I fit into this exactly.

If you’re anything like me, you jump around from one thing to another.  While “expert” is a pretty strong term, I become quite proficient at something and once I’ve kind of gotten all I can out of it, I tend to abandon it and move onto something else.

I’m not sure if I get bored or I just don’t feel I can or want to go any farther with what I’ve learned/mastered/excelled in.

If we get a new type of pet, I read up on it to make sure I do the best I can by that little creature.  I’m a professional photographer, but after it was an actual job for a while, it lost its magic.  I’ve never had a career, per se, because different things interest me at different times.  I think what works for me in my current job is things can grow and change – it doesn’t and shouldn’t be the same forever.

I am often drawn to a simple, repetitive type of work – but I know after a short while I would be clawing my way out.

So, I guess I’m just a wanderer – doing the best I can do at the time and moving onto something new that will challenge me again.

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Part 11 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

I’m quite the night owl tonight.  My mind is kind of racing so I thought I’d catch up on blogging until I’m tired. 🙂

11. You’re in a relationship with an extrovert.

I am, and I’m so thankful it worked out that way!

My husband – well, I’ll put it to you this way – I just don’t “get” how he is.  He is able to do so many things I just can’t.  He’s good with people, he’s good with saying the right things in a very confident way, he enjoys putting himself out there.

Perhaps this is why we work so well together. ❤

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Part 10 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.

Yes!  And it takes me a while to bounce back.

Being around people and being “on” for the folks around me is tiring, but only if I’m subjected to it for a good, solid day.  I really hate being the center of attention, but there are times when it is necessary.

There are times, during the holidays especially, where we are almost in a non-stop social groove.  Parties, game nights, dinners, etc.  Once January hits, I can’t socialize anymore for a while.  I’m just tuckered out from all the interaction – even interaction with my best friends.

My husband and I are planning our 15th anniversary wedding renewal.  I can hardly wait, but I’m also hesitant about the actual little ceremony because all eyes will be on us – on purpose.  My wedding day was awesome, but it was much larger than this little soiree will be.  And, yes, only those closest to us will be in attendance, so what’s the big deal, right?

I’m trying to keep my focus on all the other details so the ceremony won’t be a sticking point on my subconscious.  Music has helped tremendously!  I’ll jot down new songs while listening to my Pandora stations – ah, Pandora!  How I love you!

Extroverts out there, don’t be offended when your introvert pals disappear for a while.  They’ll be back…they need to rest up for the next round! 😉

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Part 9 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.

I do not ride any form of public transportation unless it is my only choice.  I’m not a germ-o-phobe at all, but it’s just so unclean!

Sure, I’m on edge when I have to ride a bus or subway or shuttle, but the main reason I stay away is the lack of control I have.  Ask my husband, yes, I am a control freak.  Comes with the bit of OCD I carry around with me.

It seems every time I’m forced into public transportation as a mode of travel, something happens.  Never fails.  Breaks down, is off-schedule by A LOT, someone at home needs me and I can’t get there…you name it.  I hate being completely helpless and out of control.

As far as where I sit goes, yes, it has to be on the end.  With transport, I prefer the front – probably because all I want is OUT.  Anywhere else, the back and on the end.  I don’t like people sitting behind me, I don’t like having to inconvenience people by leaving a row if I’m in the middle.  The downside is I’m highly annoyed by all the people who DO end up sitting in the middle who 1) arrive late and bother me by needing to sit in my row and 2) cannot make it through wherever we are without getting in and out of their seat a bunch of times.

Yes, I’m a bit of a stickler when it comes to performance etiquette.  Get there early and stay in your seat!  I paid good money, too, and it’s not to rise and fall by your presence in my row. 🙂

Wouldn’t it be great if all auditoriums and theaters had an aisle every four or 5 seats?!?

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Part 8 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.

Nope.  Nada.  NOT going to happen.  For. Get. It.

This is where I divert from introvert to super shy.  I am not good with public speaking or anything where I’m singled out and in the spotlight.

When I applied for the newly vacated position of Director of Christian Education, I made it perfectly crystal clear that in no way would I be expected to be the “face” of the department – I would hire someone to do that.  I’m a behind the scenes kind of girl, and I’m most content that way.

I easily embarrass – flubbing a word makes my heart pound and my face turn red.  All eyes are on me – I’m not physically gasping for breath, but no matter how slowly and clearly I speak, I feel like I can’t breathe.  Before I’m singled out, I’m all nervous and shaky.  Afterwards, it takes me at least 30 minutes to come down from the anxiety ride.

I’m sure a lot of it is psychological remnant from all the times I was teased during a presentation in class, I’d be laughed at quietly.  Just enough to make me feel very uneasy and self-conscious.  That stuff never leaves you.  I’m almost 40 and those “memories” are still as vivid as they were when I was in my teens.  Even thinking about it makes me anxious.

I know, in my heart, all the people in the pews on Sunday morning love and respect me and couldn’t care less if I tripped over my tongue during a reading.  I wish it didn’t matter to me, but it does.  It’s who I am.

I have been toiling over joining our church choir for well over a year.  I just feel so intimidated by the talent up there.  I know my lack of sight reading music doesn’t matter to those up there (I’ve come to learn there are many who don’t read music).  I can sing what I hear and I do love to sing (when no one else is listening, of course).  I guess it’s just a matter of getting enough courage to actually do it.  That is one thing I always did like and was never nervous about – because I was in a group of blended voices.  I do like to just blend in.

I do apologize if there are those of you who DO excel under the conditions of performing or speaking that cannot relate to what I go through in those situations.  I wonder how many introverts out there do suffer from a degree of shyness.  I’d love to hear from you!

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Part 7 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.

Hear that?  It’s absolutely nothing!  Mondays are often my recharge day.

Weekends are busy with family, shopping, church work, and/or church socializing – and for me, that’s draining.  I’m fortunate to work a part-time job so I most often end up catching up on ME on Mondays.  I’m sure my husband doesn’t really like hearing that…sorry, hon!

Today was gorgeous outside, but I just stayed in until I had to run an errand or two before picking the kids up from school.  The dog, as always, was my lazy companion.  He’s a Pug, so it’s just in his nature.

There are some days where being unproductive is frustrating.  Usually it’s those days where I have a clear goal in mind for the day and just about anything and everything pops up just to spite me and my plans.

Lazy days I am perfectly fine with doing nothing.  And by doing nothing I mean no real goals.  I’ll work on laundry a bit, take the dog out, prep supper, make sure the dishes are done – I’m not a complete waste! 🙂

After a busy couple of days, I need to recharge in silence and at my own pace.

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Part 6 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

6. You’re easily distracted.

Wait, what?  Oh, yes please! 😉

I’ve never been diagnosed with any kind of ADD, but I tell you what, I have some compulsions and I definitely have issues with being distracted.  Now that I’m clear on the whole introvert thing, I get it.

Whether working or at home, if I have too many things to accomplish in a day, I’m jumping from task to task until it’s all done.

Housecleaning is a toughie sometimes, depending on how much needs done.  I’ll start in one room, pass another and notice things that need done in there and completely forget that I was already involved elsewhere.  Eventually I’ll come back to the original task because I’ll realize I was working there first.  It’s frustrating and comical at the same time.

Work – oy vey.  I’m a hard worker, but I tell you, if I come in and I’m pounced on with a bunch of different tasks, or usually in my case – crises, I’ll freak out a little until I sort it all out in my mind and on paper.  Someone can’t volunteer so I have to find a replacement, someone needs this or that, I need to get my newsletter insert done, the computer is throwing an error – can I look at it?

SCREAM!  Once I get it under control in my mind, I’m all over it.  But to get to that point I have a little meltdown because it’s too much and I can’t prioritize it all that fast.  It doesn’t help that I’m a “pleaser” personality, too.  I want to be liked and I want to be seen doing a good job and I hate letting people down.

I almost always need a to-do list written down to stay on task. It helps so much, and it’s really rewarding to see, at the end of the day, all I accomplished.

Now I hope to finish the laundry I started yesterday and not end up cleaning out the garage because I had to take something to the trash can…:P

Happy Sunday, you crazies!

Image Credit:  LifeWithLyn.com

Part 5 of 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert

Apparently you have to actually do something in order for people to visit your blog.  Ha!  A couple big goose eggs with the stats over the last two days.

That’s OK…when life calls, you have to jump into action, and it’s been a busy couple of days.  So, where was I?

5. You’ve been called “too intense.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been called “intense” to my face.  People may think it, I don’t know.  Myself?  I think I can get intense with knowledge – but not just arbitrarily.

If I pick up an interest or an activity I think I can excel in, I research the crap out of it.  New pets?  I become the new expert.  A music group?  I could host my own “Behind the Music” show on the artist or group.

All this comes into play because it helps me speak intelligently about said subject.  I feel like a heel when I have no idea what someone is talking about.  I’m left out of the conversation and that makes me squirm.

I enjoy educating people with what I know (and not in a snooty kind of way, in a helpful way) because it helps me connect with them.  I love giving what I think is solid advice if someone comes up to me with a problem.  I go above and beyond for my friends when I can…if I don’t have the answer, I can find it or find someone who can find it.

I could talk for hours about the intricacies of The Walking Dead storyline, the latest news about my favorite band’s upcoming tour, or what viewpoint I just discovered in my last Bible study class.  I just love deep conversation about things I can participate in.

So, when you find someone who you think is “obsessed” “passionate” about oddball things, don’t label them as someone who’s a little too hardcore or extreme.  Think about the things YOU love and what YOU love to talk about and how it makes YOU feel.

Those things may be the very things that fuels the introvert’s energy.  We may be nerds, geeks, eccentrics – but it’s what we need to make us feel a part of something – a part of anything.

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