What a weekend! Trying to get back into the old routine of things and it’s rough. I’m tired, have a mountain of laundry (despite the fact it was all done on Friday), and I’m trying to motivate myself to blog a little. It’s already been a busy Monday with work and on-going private stuff.
Whew. Let’s get to:
3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
This has a caveat or two with me. There are some crowds that I’m perfectly content with and the big one is music concerts. I’m a huge RUSH fan, and perhaps someday I’ll have posts devoted to nothing but that terrific Canadian trio, but despite the fact that crowd is a sea of strangers, I feel so at home and have the BEST time. RUSH fans are quite unique and it’s such an inclusive atmosphere, you can’t help but fall deep into conversation with the person next to you.
The other is church. We have a large congregation for this area and there are still people I don’t know on any given Sunday. I feel safe enough to not feel alone.
I have a very hard time eating out alone or taking a time-out while running errands if I have to do so in a public place. If I do have to eat out, I do my best to prepare with a book or something to keep me active so I’m not feeling so conspicuous (when in reality most people probably don’t even notice me). I’m very end-goal oriented when it comes to a task that, unless it’s absolutely necessary, I just won’t allow myself to stop until the task is complete and I have to go home.
There are also times, in crowds with friends, where I feel a little lost and alone. Most often it’s when I don’t have a lot of knowledge about the activity/interest. I embarrass easily and I hate to come off looking like an idiot. If I’m able, I’ll find out as much as possible before hand.
Winter, coupled with Seasonal Affective Disorder, there are times I feel pretty lost and alone when friends are out of town. I know they’re still my friend and they’re just gone temporarily, but I feel some sort of connection has been severed until they get back. It’s weird, but it’s an awful, lonely feeling. I did find out my Vitamin D level was insufficient, bordering on deficient and it really helped – so if you find you’re feeling on the verge of depressed certain times in the year, have your doctor get to the bottom of it! It made a huge difference for me.
On the quirky side, I’m not often one to follow a trend, so I’m kind of intentional about isolating myself. Reality TV? Nope. The latest blockbuster movie? Meh. Anything fashion? Funny! The latest one-hit wonder on the radio? Puh-leeze. Even the TV shows I love that happen to be popular, I don’t even start watching until 4 or 5 seasons in. I try to start a series from the original pilot airing, but usually it’s canceled mid-season or by the end of the first season. I guess the truly good stuff continues because I haven’t jinxed it yet. Ha!
Am I starting to sound like a complete freak of nature? I hope not. I have a feeling the folks that are checking up on me daily are doing a lot of nodding in agreement.
You’re not alone! Would love for some of you to comment and tell me a little about how you deal with these situations I’m talking about. 🙂
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